We'll be back next week.

Following a well-deserved vacation, we here at AIA have decided to hold off on posting until September. Things will be a little different, perhaps a new layout...who knows?
In the meantime...

In honor of the LLWS...

I love how the team from Staten Island shows how well raised they are. They just beat Bernardsville, NJ last night to advance to the big show. For many of these Italians, it is likely the last time they will do anything of note in athletics without the aid of "supplements" or come into competition with their ultra-talented Central American counterparts.

When all else fails, the internet will listen.

Even when I was an avid smoker (I have since quit), I never took it to the level of looking for excuses at work to get that five minute nicotine fix that every other person I know is constantly looking for. I'm going to try and take you into a day at my job without giving too much away, because I fully intend on keeping this blog as an anonymous one.
When I walk into work I have two bosses, one is the woman without whom I would never have gotten the job (she's my friend's mother), and the other is the very bane of my existence, an older man who has kept himself looking young despite smoking like a fucking chimney. Why is this man so terrible? I have so many reasons.

1. He suffers from what I like to call "small man disease", where he attempts to intimidate those who are taller than him by suddenly turning into a hardass against those he knows can't say anything back without risking their job.
2. He's terrified of strong-minded women, and will back down at the first sign of one.
3. He is constantly under the impression that his way is the only way to do things, even
4. He delegates even the simplest of tasks, and when they aren't done exactly as he wants he goes apeshit.
5. He walks away as he's giving you instructions.
6. He mumbles the instructions.
7. He talks in a pitch that can only be heard when there aren't a thousand machines running simultaneously...but there are of course that many machines.
8. He attempts to maintain a friendly demeanor with the customers, which generally means he has to give the biggest faux-chuckle on a near constant basis.
9. I am the target of nearly all his aggression, as practically all other employees are related to the female owner.
10. He tells me to "use my head" when I can't read his mind.
11. He obviously used his when the five hundred dollar decals came in with a huge typo on them.
12. He puts me in situations where I can't win, so I just shrug him off and he gets even more aggravated with me.
13. He acts as if I'm lazy when I don't get an official break and stop working for five minutes after doing countless things he never takes the time to notice.
14. Right before he tells me I'm lazy, he takes his 6:06 pm cigarette break.
15. After he tells me I'm lazy, he takes his 6:08 pm cigarette break.

Honestly, being on Fox News has no parallel in terms of the stupidity of their staff. Barring finding some form of a closed live feed at some mental asylum, I doubt I ever will.

Best Movie vs. Worst Movie (Upcoming)

Zombieland: Bill Murray is making a cameo as a zombie...need I say more?

Gamer: This movie looks absolutely atrocious. I mean it's a novel concept, but honestly the execution is a little poor and this would have been a b-movie in the mid-nineties, but due to lack of original ideas nowadays, this comes out to a major release.

XKCD is fucking genius.

I never really think that webcomics are as funny as everyone makes them out to be. But when I came across this shining gem, I nearly pissed myself laughing.

That little extra.

Just when you thought that "little people" had finally gained some form of dignity within the realm of television...

AYYYYYYYY

So I have had my current vehicle for a little over a year now, and seeing as how I have grown accustomed to it, I figured I would tell you about my favorite feature of the car: faulty wiring.
I know what you're thinking, but hear me out on this one. My roof light has had shoddy wiring since well before I got the car, and it took me a while to figure out that this could be the coolest part of my daily life. While the wiring is shoddy, I can still make the light go on without flipping the switch that would usually do so by simply banging the light itself. Do you know who that makes me feel like?

DO YOU?

AYYYYYYYY.

Asinine Ads

Currency Graffiti: An Observation

I first noticed this phenomenon when I worked with money on a constant basis as a cashier, and it has become one of my favorite forms of being entertained by felonious acts.







This is another blog topic that has probably been beaten into the ground, seeing as much of the content seen above was found on the Blogger network. In my defense, it's just too much fun to find stuff like this.

Some of the better flowcharts I've come across

I always find my placement of the term "Oh SNAP!" to be rather off. When I need a brief refresher, I refer to this gem. MMOABC.com has an entire list of them, and they are all brilliant. This was my favorite.

Just...yes. Thank goodness for mentalfloss.

Cracked is the owner of some of the best material on the interweb, and this is no exception. Personally, I approach my problems in life according to this flowchart.

Holy Taco provides this wonderful chart on the modern porn industry. If you watch/have watched porn in any capacity, this rings true every time.

This can be found pretty much anywhere on the internet, but I got this particular example from incredimazing.com. I love nearly every aspect of this flowchart, and for their effort they get an A+.

Sometimes I wish I lived in the UK, so it could be called the Snoggie.

I hate being the guy that blogs on everything that's already be done to death, and I know that one thing that has been beaten into the ground is the infamous Snuggie. Today though, I think I may have seen the ultimate in luxury for canines, the Snuggie for Dogs. I looked over at my father who was watching the commercial, and he was laughing harder than I was at the commercial at just how asinine the advent of total comfort for dogs is. I can't help but wonder why those dogs are clawing their sweaters off in the commercial. OH WAIT THEY HAVE FUR FOR THAT. How did dogs ever get along before the Snuggie?


Really?

Now I am sayin' she's a gold digger.

Now I know some of you must be wondering where I find a lot of the stuff I put on this blog. The answer is StumbleUpon, the greatest thing to come around on the internet in a long time. Most of the time, it's generally the stuff that makes me really laugh hard that makes it though to me posting it. But there are other times that things make me particularly angry, as it the case today.
For you see, I stumbled upon one of the hot button topics in my life: neo-feminism. I understand that women are still heavily subjugated and everything, and for the most part I am completely in agreement with their cause. A woman's right to choose, the obsession with beauty, and everything in between are things that I consider myself part of supporting the cause of.
On the other hand, I will occasionally run across a "strong" woman who thinks that she has to have a man with money, rather than to be in love. This defeats the entire purpose of feminism, just as a man marrying a woman for her looks rather than her intellect and compatability defeats the entire purpose of marriage.
The article I am going to provide argues that it is right to marry the provider, rather than the soulmate...huh? That makes no fucking sense whatsoever, because women can fend for themselves. Look at all the single moms that make ends meet, that's a strong woman. Look at the businesswoman who puts her career before her love life, that's a strong woman. Look at the female doctor that understands (especially during their early years of internship and residency) that their patients come before anything, that's a strong woman. There may not be a romantic ideal for everyone, but deep inside even the most coarse person on earth, there's a mind that tells the heart to do what is right rather than marrying for the wrong reasons :cough: Heather Mills :cough:.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/07/06/tf.marrying.for.money/index.html