I rarely come across something I find genuinely hilarious on the internet. This, however, might be the single best idea for a webcomic ever. It's called Hipster Hitler, and it will be the new "cool thing" to look at in the very near future. These writer's are brilliant, and their use of puns attests to that (see: Three Reichs and you're out.) I haven't been this excited about a site in a long time. I implore you all to check it out and enjoy your juice while you're at it.
Have any of you ever seen the Chappelle Show skit where he discusses how everytime he would shoot something into the trash, he would shout "KOBE". Well towards the end of the skit, you see Donnell Rawlings roll up in a high-priced SUV next to a woman that's holding a baby in one arm and holding another child's hand with her other one. He then proceeds to break the fourth wall, laugh into the camera and announce "EVERY ATHLETE EVER!" and peel off. Well played Dave, well played.
This past weekend, I went to visit my BFFAEAEAE in Vermont. She hangs out with a pretty liberal crowd so I knew I'd be in for a good time, but as per usual, I was semi-oblivious to what I was actually getting myself into. So on Saturday we start bar hopping around Burlington, which rules, cuz you can walk EVERYWHERE, and there are bars EVERYWHERE. The next thing I know, I'm at this bar called "The 1/2," because it's literally half the size of any normal bar I've been in. There was a DJ spinning super hard techno beats, strobe lights, and free flowing beer that I wasn't paying for. I turn to my BFFAEAEAE's friend who I've been dancing with, who also happens to be named Ricky Martin, is gay, and has a fauxhawk, and ask him if he knows where the bathroom is. 'YUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP FOLLOW ME." We march to the back of the bar and I'm presented with a flight of stairs. We "walk" down them, and suddenly we're in this cave-themed basement, with candles and I wanna say that there were people drinking out of goblets, but honestly, my drunk memory probably made that up. Either way, the music is a little more muffled and I'm relieved, cuz I didn't know how much more of the blasting techno I could take. Ricky Martin shows me the bathroom; it's only one stall. 'I'M COMING IN WITH YOU. DEAL WITH IT HOOKER." Alright, now, normally, I'm not that girl who's like 'OMGGG COME TO THE BATHROOM WITH ME, LIKE I DON'T EVEN CARE, LET'S ALL JUST PEE TOGETHER, WOO HOO, GIRLS NIGHT" but I mean, there is only ONE bathroom, and I am with a kid named Ricky Martin, and I have had like 10 drinks, so whatevs, let's go with the flow here. I close the door to the bathroom and realize that to go along with the creepy basement/cave theme, it's only candle lit. Ricky Martin figures this out too, and decides it's a great idea to blow them all out. So let me reiterate. 10 drinks deep. In a cave themed bathroom. With Ricky Martin. In total darkness. We both finish peeing, and I feel a hand on my waist. "HAHAH, LET'S MAKE OUT IN THIS BATHROOM, WOOOO TONIGHT!" ............what the fuck? Ricky Martin is totally gay right? What is happening? suddenly I can hear the muffled music from upstairs get louder. I don't care WHAT this song is, it is now my favorite. "SORRY RICKY, GOTTA GO, TOTES LOVE THIS SONG."
ran up the stairs. and then danced to this song, and pretended that I loved it.
Thanks Katy Perry!
...that's probably the last time I'll ever say that.
Ok, I know I have the next "Worst Recordings Ever" spot but like AIA said, he raised the goddamn bar, until then I have fantastic news. So remember the girl troll I found in my last post. Well she is now doing this new thing on her youtube channel called "Ask Arielle". Me being me decided that this would be a great time to ask this girl for advice and post her response on here, hopefully she will be doing it soon, I will keep you posted.
(201): hey whitney whats good (***): im bt a bar talkimg to tjis guy but idk ig i wana houk up with hinm (201): once upon a time. a man decided he could win the night by being a douche. this is who you're thinking about hooking up with. he hates puppies.
"PhatGayKid" really brings it here. I think most of the appeal of the video lies in deciding if he's being serious or not. The part at the end where he talks about "riffing" is fucking CLASSIC though. Plus, it's Ke$ha, so you know AIA approves of people that actually make the song sound worse than the original version, even though I personally thought it was impossible. I stand corrected. Riff on sir, riff on.
With that I believe it's Reese's turn once again. He can have fun beating this.
Some bitch I used to date posted this as her status following prop 8 being overturned (win).
"A conservative who doesn't believe in God doesn't pray; A godless liberal wants no one to pray. A conservative who doesn't like guns doesn't buy one; A liberal gun-hater wants to disarm us all. A gay conservative has sex his own way; A gay liberal requires us all to watch and accept his perversion. A conservative who is offended by a radio show changes the station; an offended liberal wants it banned and prosecuted."
Hey Guys, It's me Reese. After an absent of a month or so, I am back. Confession, I am writing this while watching Shark Week so if I seem a little Jumpy you know wh- HOLY FUCK THAT SHARK JUST BIT THAT WOMAN'S LEG CLEAN OFF... sorry about that. So I was surfing the old interwebs and I saw this video for a "Inception Review". So I decided to watch and what I saw was possibly the greatest video ever.
This bitch knows was she doing. Choosing one of the best movies of the year so far and going "It didn't make sense." TROLL ALERT! But even though it's obvious, she really sticks to her guns making it believable. "Isn't she (Juno) a lesbian?" Classic. She also has a twitter.
Wow this girl just doesn't give up, or do you think that she is actually this dumb? Well my friend Ari Gold from HBO's Entourage has something to tell you then.
I've decided as of recently that I need to start making better life decisions. Therefore, whenever I make a terrible decision, I need to counter-act it, with a good one.
The Bad Decision. I may or may not have made out with someone who was old enough to be balding on Tuesday night. I mean... normally, I'd say it doesn't count, because I don't remember it. No harm no foul. But... What makes it a bad decision, is that I have an entire bar of people who can attest to the two of us playing tonsil hockey.
The Good Decision. On Thursday, a dude that I hook up with occasionally texted me the following, "Alright Whitney. Hear me out. Come to my house. I have five shots of Jameson ready and waiting for you to take. We can skinny dip my pool, run around my house naked, totally bone, and in the morning, I'll pretend I don't see you sneaking out the door. I'll even fake snore if it'll make you feel better. Deal?" I gotta give him credit. The dude knows me well. But. I said no.
