So I was eating at a restaurant today, a Sunday, and it dawned on me the thing that bothers me most about female NFL fans. It's not the fact that they like the sport, or that they generally have little knowledge on the game or its history, nor the fact that they feel it much more necessary to post about how they are watching "the game" as their facebook/twitter statii. Nope, it's that they decide to wear eye black.
I know what you're thinking. "That's such a petty thing not to like!" Look, I don't care if people wear jerseys or anything, but wearing eye black just takes it to a whole different level of asinine. It's not fucking cute, it's ridiculous looking. Are you playing the game? Are you inside while watching the game? Are you actually at the game, but it's too sunny? (Answer to the third question: WEAR SUNGLASSES). You are not football players, and there is no practical use for it, so just save yourself some time and effort and stop trying to bring "cute" into the conversation about football.
You think Marshawn Lynch, the undisputed ugliest player in the league would look cuter with eye black on? Let's take a look.
Nope, still ugly.
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