Stealing From Myself.

I was a big fan of this when I wrote it almost two years ago for another site.
The three most overused cliche's on social networking sites:
"Live. Love. Laugh." Oh god, who hasn't seen this incredibly teenage piece of garbage on someone's profile at some period of time. If this is honestly your philosophy in life, congratulations you're just like every other 12 (whenever girls realize that can have minds of their own)-27 year old female in the entire world. How exactly does one go about living? Is living going out and getting w@$tEd with all your friends living? Then i guess my body performing all its vital functions isn't living. Shit, I'm sooooo not alive right now. Love is tired, most love is dead, go live in China its a sausagefest over there anyway 60/40 male (you'll bag one for sure, even if you are a piece of suburban trash like every other person who says "live love laugh")..
"You only live once." Oh shut up with this one already. This is the first time that a soap opera will come into context in any of my writing. One Life To Live states this pretty well. You know what, I say you only die once, so when i do it's gonna be the most awesome death/funeral ever. Who knows how i will die but chances are, it's gonna be pretty awesome. As for my funeral, I plan on being chopped in half and sewed together with an ostrich...so classic. But back to my point, people use this phrase as an excuse to do anything. Binge drinking, necrophilia, heavy drugs, scat, sodomy, etc. Do yourself a favor, go get lobotomies, then people with real ideals can inherit the earth.
"Talk shit get hit." Seriously, ninety-five percent of people don't back that statement up even though they quote it like it's their job. How is it that this saying has spread so quickly and everyone from little eighth graders to however old people are on myspace nowadays are using it as if they know it's meaning. Yeah blah blah, there's a little picture in your profile that says it with a set of brass knuckles in the background. Have you ever seen a pair of brass knuckles? Nah, probably not.
Practice what you preach, assholes.