Piece of Shit of the Day: The Final Chapter

I have decided to discontinue the Piece of Shit of the Day, as my job has made it very difficult to keep up with current events. However, in a massive make-up-for-it post, I will complete the series by paying some attention to the cool guys of the world. These are some examples that I have seen in my adventures in people watching.

Cool Guy #1: Drives by in a Dodge Neon with a kazoo for a muffler tip, an unnecessary air intake, and ground effects. This vehicle also has a spoiler which is clearly for aesthetic purposes, because in order for it to perform its designed purpose, the car would have to be going roughly 170 MPH. The young man driving is in his mid twenties, with large white (presumably designer) sunglasses on. His wingman, or passenger, is "holla'ing at the ladies" as he drives by attempting to play off the mildly impressive sound given off by his associate's automobile.



Cool Guy #2: Walker; wearing capri "shants". He has a tattoo of the inscription commonly found on the crucifix on his left pectoral. He is overly tanned and obviously Blackberry messaging.



Cool Guy #3: Walker; he is roughly 5'6" and coming back from the beach carrying BOTH his beach chairs because he wants to show off his well built physique...specifically his biceps and triceps, which he works on every Tuesday and Thursday chief.



Cool Guy #4 Walker; he is wearing Tapout board shorts (though he is obviously not a fighter), he is also wearing Air Jordan sandals/mandals. He has a tattoo of rope that wraps around from his shoulder all the way down his right arm. He is walking with a young "lady" that could easily be mistaken for some form of a comfort woman.



Cool Guy #5: Walker; He is wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar popped. He is a man of at least forty-five, wearing the attire of a preppy college boy. He struts his stuff like someone who doesn't have three kids in the stroller his wife is pushing next to him.



Cool Guys #'s 5 & 6: Walkers; These "gentlemen" are both greased up and buff in the sliver of shaved chest that is visible from the unbuttoned portion of their Hawaiian shirts. They smell of shitty cologne, presumably coming from dousing themselves with Axe body spray or simply swimming around in an aquarium full of Aqua Velva.