It's often said that someone should do stand-up when they are funny in everyday situations. Sometimes this is completely true, but for the most part...especially these people, they should have stuck with whatever it was they were doing.
5) Ralphie May
I don't care what anyone says, this guy fucking SUCKS. This is essentially a Ralphie May act: self-deprecation; fat jokes; self-deprecation; some more fat jokes; fat jokes about himself; aaaaaaand goodnight folks. You're obese....morbidly obese. We get it but there is absolutely no reason that you should make a career out of making fun of yourself. I don't care what contests you've won, you're atrocious.
4) Lisa Lampanelli
I don't care what anyone says, this guy fucking SUCKS. This is essentially a Ralphie May act: self-deprecation; fat jokes; self-deprecation; some more fat jokes; fat jokes about himself; aaaaaaand goodnight folks. You're obese....morbidly obese. We get it but there is absolutely no reason that you should make a career out of making fun of yourself. I don't care what contests you've won, you're atrocious.
4) Lisa Lampanelli
Her entire act is about how she is fucking black dudes. Enough said.
3) George Lopez
Sub-par comedian gets TV show, same old story. Being a minority is funny, didn't you know? He uses the term "beaner" quite a bit.
2) Carlos Mencia
Ned (oh, that's his real name) is the unfunny version of Dave Chappelle. It's difficult to put into words my distaste for this "comedian". He steals jokes (The Amazing Racist, Ari Shaffir), which Joe Rogan hilariously called him out on at a show for. Think of everything you see in George Lopez, add a little copypasted Shaffir, and give him the replacement show for Chappelle...there's Carlos. He's not even Mexican from what I understand, he's German.
1) Dane Cook (No picture needed, you've seen him everywhere)
This guy was exceptionally funny when I first came across him. But now, it's the same song and dance every time he come up with "new" material. He shouts ridiculous stories at people using terms like "deliciousness" and "milk chocolatey clusterfucks" knowing that if he uses enough body language and hand action that he'll get a laugh out of the teenage girls and frat boys in his audience.
He is another notorious joke-stealer. The instance of theft that comes to my mind is his SNL monologue, during which he took almost word for word a wonderful Demetri Martin bit about shoe stores. Almost all of the comedian community dislikes or hates him for how famous he has become.
3) George Lopez
Sub-par comedian gets TV show, same old story. Being a minority is funny, didn't you know? He uses the term "beaner" quite a bit.
2) Carlos Mencia
Ned (oh, that's his real name) is the unfunny version of Dave Chappelle. It's difficult to put into words my distaste for this "comedian". He steals jokes (The Amazing Racist, Ari Shaffir), which Joe Rogan hilariously called him out on at a show for. Think of everything you see in George Lopez, add a little copypasted Shaffir, and give him the replacement show for Chappelle...there's Carlos. He's not even Mexican from what I understand, he's German.
1) Dane Cook (No picture needed, you've seen him everywhere)
This guy was exceptionally funny when I first came across him. But now, it's the same song and dance every time he come up with "new" material. He shouts ridiculous stories at people using terms like "deliciousness" and "milk chocolatey clusterfucks" knowing that if he uses enough body language and hand action that he'll get a laugh out of the teenage girls and frat boys in his audience.
He is another notorious joke-stealer. The instance of theft that comes to my mind is his SNL monologue, during which he took almost word for word a wonderful Demetri Martin bit about shoe stores. Almost all of the comedian community dislikes or hates him for how famous he has become.
He doesn't have punchlines...all his bits are stories that have abrupt endings where he'll stare around like a child looking for acceptance and laughter. He notices everyday things and simply puts them in a humorous context, sans humor. Jerry Seinfeld at least was a pioneer when he did observation humor.
He's actually been decent in the "cinematic adventures" I have seen of his, and perhaps he would be best suited to stay that way, because Cook is just piss poor in every aspect of what comedy is supposed to be.
Honorable Mentions: Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Margaret Cho, Carrot Top, Dat Phan, Gallagher I & II, and Andrew Dice Clay.
There are so many great ones out there, but they get lost in the crowd when douchers like those listed above come into the limelight. Some of them include Zach Galifianakis, Dan Boulger, Demetri Martin, Nick Swardson, Brian Posehn, Louis CK, Mitch Hedberg (RIP), George Carlin (RIP), David Cross, and Patton Oswalt.
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